Working On Routine

Routine is the secret to success for me. I know it. I have proven it. I have lived it.

But it's so hard to put into practice.

I want to write every day again. I want to wake up and run most days. I want to feel limber and relaxed again. I want to remember calm, instead of trying to create it all the time. And I desperately want to see the progress I was making renewed.

So, my routine must return. But everytime I make a deadline for the day it has to be reenacted, I find some excuse to put it off another day. And another. And another.

Because tomorrow is a day that never comes. Saying "I'll do it tomorrow." is as good as saying "I don't want to do it at all."

The fact is, I want to see that beautiful progress I was making, but I don't want to put in the effort the routine costs. Which is funny, because it didn't feel like much effort while it was happening. At least, not until I added a whole bunch more to my routine.

But it's time to get off my butt and start this life change back up again. I'm tired of excuses and silly self-pity. I want to feel myself living again!

Here's hoping I can survive the ride.

Research Your Way To Success

Up until 2 months ago, I always believed it was impossible for me to succeed. I just couldn't see how I could get from where I was to where I wanted to be. It seemed insurmountable.

And then I reached the point where I was sick of giving myself excuses.

My brain ran through my various failures over the years, looking at what I'd tried and failed to do. And I didn't want to do the same old thing, hoping it would work this time. It hadn't worked before and it wouldn't work now. There had to be a better way.

So I googled it.

Sounds so simple, right? Well, it wasn't. I filtered through tons of websites, all claiming to have thousands of ways to fix my motivational problems. Instead of picking through them higgledy-piggledy, I clicked on the ones sourced in psychological studies.

Eureka! I found my answers. They had been at my fingertips all along, yet I didn't have the where-with-all to find them.

And my life change was born. What you see here, on this blog, is an accumulation of weeks of research. I read books, I looked up website after website, and I studied each subject individually. Whatever I had to do to be successful this time, I was going to do it.

And here I am. Maybe not a raging success (yet!) but I've made it further than I've ever made it before. And my instincts tell me this is going to stick. This is a permanent change this time. All because I sat down and researched it.

Is there something you wish to change, too? Well, chances are there is an article or site dedicated to the subject somewhere on the internet. Google it and you may find that research will open the way to success for you, too. If it works for me (and many others who have succeeded at changing), chances are it will work for you.

If you really want it to.

Daily Stats:

 

1. Exercised, stretched, meditated, and worked on writing twice today. Jogging day #1 for the week.
2. Wrote in my journal, kept to my budget, and wrote a poem today.
3. Posted on my blog.
4. Made my bed, picked up in my room, did some laundry, and did dishes.
5. Did NOT stay on my diet today.
6. Cooked nothing, but I did fix my breakfast.

To Change or Not To Change

I'm so sorry for the poor quality of the video, but I can't afford a camera, and for my many mistakes. I hope I get better as I do this more.

Oh, and please excuse my general dishabille. It's been a long day.

For those of you who do NOT wish to watch the video, here's a quick overview of it:

This blog post is to address the fact that there are some things in life we should change about ourselves, i.e. the things we don't like, and then there are things we shouldn't change at all. And since I've spent so many of my blog posts discussing what I don't like about myself, I thought it'd be a nice change of pace to list the positive things I find in myself.

And today was a great example of that.

I went out with a friend today. She recently was injured at work, her head being smashed between two objects. Because of that, she lost her memory. That's right, I know someone with amnesia.

In a single swoop, this girl lost everything she had ever known. The very idea sends a chill down my spine. I can only imagine how much she's suffering right now.

When someone at work was bad-mouthing my friend the other day, I surprised myself by speaking up for her despite the fact that it meant confronting someone. I don't do confrontation, but in the case of defending my friend, I did it, anyway.

And that surprised me.

But not as much as my actions today surprised me. When a car was coming toward my friend while we were crossing the street today, I instinctively stepped in front of the car, blocking her from harm. And I angrily stared down the driver of the vehicle, daring them to try to get through me to hurt her.

Life had hurt this girl enough as it was. Enough was enough. If someone had to be hurt in that moment, it was going to be me. She was not going to have to suffer something else on top of all she's already going through.

That amazed me. I never thought of myself as the type of person who stands up for justice or righteousness. But I did it. Right then. When the moment came, I did it.

And I'm awe-struck by that fact.

Do you, too, have something about yourself that you actually like and find positive? If so, list it in the comments below and tell us all about it.

Two Announcements:

1.) I will be integrating my diet change and cooking healthier alternatives into my schedule beginning Thursday, April 11th.
2.) I will begin jogging 3 days a week from now on, eventually moving myself to a 5 days a week regimen.

Thank you so much for listening if you did, and for taking the time to read this, even if you didn't listen. Have a good one and don't forget to get out there and do something!

Daily Stats:

1. Exercised, stretched, meditated, and worked on my writing twice today. Jogging day #1.
2. Wrote in my journal, kept on budget, and wrote a poem today.
3. Posted on my blog. Video blog post of week DONE.
4. Made my bed and cleaned my car out.

All Diets Work (But We Don't)

I read about a study in a book I read not so long ago (Change Anything), and it said something about diets that has stuck with me ever since. In this study, scientists tested each diet against a control group to see if it really worked. And their study showed that almost all of the diets worked...for as long as the people stayed on them.

Problem is, few people ever do.

We all have seen this story for ourselves. Woman or man hates their body and decides to change it. They go on a diet and exercise regimen and lose pounds quickly. And they keep them off. For a little while.

And then they slip. They skip an exercise routine. They cheat on their diet. And the pounds start coming back. The more they gain back, the more they eat and the less they exercise. They've already lost; why keep fighting the battle? Their new body quickly deteriorates until they've gained more pounds than they originally lost!

Sometimes this cycle repeats itself over and over and over again, causing more health problems than the supposed diet was supposed to cure in the first place.

When I was a little girl, I decided I was never going to diet. I didn't believe in the stuff. Dieting made people unhappy and cranky, and I wanted to be happy, dang it! How in the world could skinny ever be worth unhappiness?

Well, I still feel that way. In fact, I think fad diets are evil and are causing more obesity in our nation than they are curing. But then, why is a diet in my life change plan?

Because I want to change my diet. Not go on a diet. I want to eat healthier, in a more sustainable manner. I want to feel good and accomplish my goals, not fit in a swimsuit better. Sure, that'd be a great side effect to a healthier diet and exercise regimen (what girl wouldn't want that), but that's not what this is about.

This is about being happy. This is about making my dreams come true.

And no where in my dreams is there room for debilitating illnesses and health problems that hold me back from doing things. I need my health more than anything if I want to get somewhere in this life change of mine. So, starting on 4/11, I will be beginning my own diet plan. It won't be a fad diet, nor will it be a starvation diet. This will be a complete dietary change for me. A lifestyle change.

It will be based off of the dietary research I am currently doing. Extensive reading into how the body and nutrition works is the only way I can see making this work how I want.

And this will work. Just watch me.

Daily Stats:

 

1. Exercised, stretched, meditated, and worked on my writing twice today.
2. Wrote in my journal, stayed on budget, and wrote a poem today.
3. Posted on my blog today.
4. Made my bed today.

10 Ways To Exercise

So, if you read yesterday's post, you're probably convinced that exercise is a worthwhile use of your time. But how do you exercise? There's literally hundreds of ways, but here are some good places to start:

1.) Walking.

Sure, it's pretty anticlimactic, but walking is honestly one of the greatest exercises we have available to us. It's easy on the knees, and if you power walk over long distances, you'll be amazed by the calorie burn you're capable of just by this simple exercise.

It's also dirt cheap. An important consideration if you're as broke as I am.

2.) Jogging or Running.

Is walking too tame for you? Then maybe you should try jogging. You'll burn more calories, and feel amazing to boot! Another interesting plus: if you're ever attacked by a knife-wielding madman, you might be able to outrun him.

This is another dirt cheap option on your exercise list.

3.) Strength exercises at home.

Push ups, pull ups, crunches, planks, etc. The list of potential strength exercises you can do from the comfort of your own bedroom is practically endless. Each one is a great way to build strength, and many sustained reps of them are a great means of creating muscular endurance.

This option can get expensive if you decide to use more than your own body as your exercise machine. Pull up bars, dumbbells, and even private bench presses can be purchased to make this option even easier if you want. This can literally be as cheap or as expensive an exercise as you want.

4.) Yoga.

An amazing exercise that improves flexibility and breathing. While I recommend the flexibility, and even recommend that you should use meditation, some warnings: a lot is said of the weight loss and strength training capabilities of yoga. While yoga is truly very healthy for you, less evidence has been found for these effects beyond flexibility and general well-being.

This one isn't as cheap  as the other options. While you can study and train yourself to do yoga with library books, it's a lot easier to sign up for a class or get a DVD. Which involves spending money.

5.) Join a gym.

This one is obvious. You can join a gym and use the facilities there, all dedicated to the very subject you're interested in: exercise! I have a lot of friends who have jumped on this means of exercise.

There is no cheap option for this one. If you want to join a gym, you're going to have to fork over some dough. Sorry.

6.) Swim.

If you have access to a pool, this can be an amazing means of exercise. The risk of injury in the pool is much less than running, cycling, or sports. And it works the muscles of the body to an amazingly thorough degree.

If you already have a pool, this is another free means of exercise. However, if you don't, you'll have to buy one, get a membership to a gym or public pool, or schmooze over someone to let you access one regularly.

7.) Skiing/snowboarding, surfing, or skateboarding.

Wherever you live, there is probably snow, waves, or pavement to shred. These can be a really fun way to get active, and may even make you feel like a kid again!

Not too expensive an option. Unless you feel the need to move somewhere you can catch waves or snow drifts, that is. In which  case, this option might just break your bank.

8.) Playing a sport.

Basketball, baseball, football, tennis, whatever. Any sport that makes you get up and move is a means of exercise and it's well worth the effort. Plus, it can be really fun!

This will be more expensive than just walking, but not quite as expensive as joining a gym...unless you have to join the gym to get regular access to these kinds of facilities. But usually a local park can do just as well.

9.) Bicycling.

As the days get warmer, we're all going to see more people out on the road with their bicycles. And why not? It's a fantastic way to kill two birds with one stone. You're getting to places you want to go, AND burning calories as you get there. What's there to lose in that scenario?

This is one option that is going to cost money. And it can get VERY expensive the deeper you get into it. A good bicycle can cost you close to $1000! But you can buy cheaper ones at your local Walmart to start for around $100. 

10.) Dancing.

Going to your local club, while bad on the calorie intake (beer is a heavy hitter), can be a great way to exercise. The constant movements and sustained exercise you do while dancing is a real calorie eater, and you can have a LOT of fun with this one.

This can be as cheap as listening to your radio from the comfort of your own home to as expensive as signing up for professional training. And there are a lot of things in-between there. Usually there are a few cheap dancing classes at your local community center or gym, and DVDs are prolific. But if you want a free demonstration, you can always google it and watch the YouTube videos.


Whatever way you exercise, it's important that you do it often and safely. Listen to your body as you go, and don't overdo it just to impress anyone or in the name of "health". Injuries are never good for your health, and improper exercising is an accident waiting to happen! Research the safest way to do whatever activity you choose before you do it, and you can minimize these risks.

But, most of all, have fun!

Daily Stats:

 

1. Exercise, stretched, meditated, and worked on writing twice today.
2. Wrote in journal, kept to my budget, and wrote a poem today.
3. Posted on my blog.
4. Made my bed and picked up around my room.   

Writing Down Your Troubles

Why did I make writing in a journal one of my goals? Well, that's simple. Because I'm a writer. And because talking myself through this change will make the process SO much easier, in the long run.

Not to mention, there is something so freeing in writing in a journal. It doesn't matter what you say, how you say it, or even why. It's your journal; you choose who reads it. And it's your space to just be yourself. Admit to your weaknesses. Describe your dark inner thoughts. Explore your flaws.

Only by facing what is wrong with you, deep inside, can you hope to change it. It won't go away on its own. You can't wish it away. It's there, and it haunts every day of your life.

And it will only get worse if you never deal with it.

A journal is truly the perfect place to work through some of that. Some might recommend therapy (and you may need that, too), but a journal won't charge you forty bucks an hour just to talk!

Just look at me! Every word I've written inside my journal has brought me strength in my change. It's part of the reason I've made it this far. Here's a few links to give you some ideas on why I recommend journaling so strongly:

The Health Benefits of Journaling

10 Reasons to Keep a Journal

Still not convinced? Well, think on this: In a journal, you can explore yourself, both good and bad, without fear of judgment or bias. It's just a page in a notebook. It isn't going to hate you or gossip about you. Instead, it will soak your words into its very soul, the truest form of listening you can ever imagine.

If you don't have a journal already, I recommend getting one. It's so simple to begin. All you have to do is write.

Daily Stats:

1. Exercise, stretched, meditated, and worked on writing twice today.
2. Wrote in my journal, stayed on budget, and wrote a poem today.
3. Posted on blog.
4. Made my bed.

 

Meet The Woman I Want To Be

I want to be a calm, happy, intelligent woman who writes. I want to feel good about myself and my life. I want to be happy with my vocation, happy with my hobbies, and happy with my choices. And I want to be healthy and motivated, able to do anything and everything I set my mind to.

And I want to become that person, that ideal, by the age of 30.

Here's a more detailed, vivid picture of who I want to be by the time I'm 30:

• A published writer.
• A healthy woman NOT on medication for diabetes, heart disease, etc.
• In a stable, enjoyable vocation.
• Taking regular classes in different subjects, just for the sake of learning.
• A seasoned traveler who's been to Africa, South America, India, and toured Europe.
• Living a green, self-sufficient lifestyle.
• Debt free.
• HAPPY!

I do not want to be any of these things when I'm 30 years old:

• Still working at Walmart.
• A procrastinator.
• A person with a list of nothing but unfinished projects.
• Still not green or self-sufficient.
• Knee deep in debt.
• Stuck in the same dead-end cycle of life.

 It's a tall order to fill in just 7 years. But I can do it, if I just take it one day, one step, at a time. Because that's who I want to be someday.

And I will be her. That transformation has already begun. If I never give up, never give in to self-doubt or immediate gratification, then that person is who I will be.

That's why I'm doing this. That's why I'm here.

Daily Stats:

1. Exercised, stretched, meditated, and worked on my writing twice today.
2. Wrote in my journal and stayed on budget.
3. Posted another post on my blog.
4. Picked up in room, did laundry, and did a load of dishes.

Meet The Woman I Am

I am 23 years old. Too young to be respected, and yet too old to be given allowances. But in respects to change, I feel like a small child who has finally been given the means of how to walk.

I've lived my life believing that I had no 'drive'. No motivation. I was a calm and good person, whatever that means, but I wasn't competitive and I didn't strive to reach goals for myself. If someone put a small goal in front of me, I reached it and then laid in wait, like a wind-up doll, doing nothing of any import until someone else decided to come along and give me another goal to attempt to strive for.

I have always believed that I could not set my own goals and achieve them. I've tried despite this from time to time, determined to change.

And then I would fail, reinforcing my belief that I couldn't do it for myself. I needed someone else to make me do it.

Schools, jobs, parents, all of them teach you this through the use of the carrot and the stick approach. If you do what they want, you're rewarded. If you deviate from that path, you're punished. In small regards, this is healthy. It's a normal means of controlling a society and also a strong motivator. Taken to extremes, however, it can be addicting and have a negative impact on your personal growth.

And this is what I've become.

I am 23 years old. I've still never done more than a first draft of a book, never learned a second language, never raised my own vegetables, never traveled to Europe or South America or Africa. And I'm afraid that those things won't change over the next 7 years.

Because they won't. Not if I don't change today.

Daily Stats:

1. Exercised, stretched, meditated, and worked on my writing twice today.
2. Wrote in my journal and successfully stayed on budget. Even made up for my spendthrift ways yesterday and the day before. :)
3. Posted on my blog.
4. Picked up in room a little and in den.

Becoming Great

Be not afraid of greatness; some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.

-William Shakespeare

Or, in more modern terms, some people are MADE to be great. We can't all be born that way, and with my low achievement past, I'd say I wasn't. But that doesn't mean I can't ever be.

I can make myself into whoever and whatever I want to be. Which brings me to why I'm here, tonight, starting a new blog.

I want to change my life.

Who doesn't want to change a thing or two in their lives? And we all swear that someday, we're going to do it. We're going to pursue our dream profession; we're going to exercise more; we're going to eat better; we're going to work harder at our jobs. But we'll do all of those things tomorrow.

Well, my tomorrows have come and went and no change has been seen. I still haven't finished my books, I still haven't become a regular, steady blogger, I've never kept to an exercise schedule, and I've never believed that I even COULD stick to a diet regimen. My financial situation is nothing short of abysmal, and if I don't change something quick, it's only going to get worse. Not to mention, my messy house just seems to grow messier.

I've beat myself up over these lack of achievements for years, and still gotten no where.

But this is where I change all of that.

I'm going to take a stand, now, before my life has passed me by without my ever doing any of the things I've always dreamed of. And I'm sick of hating myself for not being "in control" or "disciplined" enough to make what I want happen.

But it isn't a lack of control. It isn't a lack of self-discipline. I have those things in spades, as I've proven time and again as I've turned down drugs, cigarettes, and gratuitous sex. 

So, why do I have control on some things, but not in others? Well, I've trained myself in how to deal with those situations, I have the skills and personal motivation required to address them, I am friends with people who support my beliefs in those areas (even if they don't always share them), and I stay away from situations and things that would push me towards giving into temptation.

Unfortunately, I've done the opposite when it comes to my other goals.

So, to change, I'm learning new skills that apply to these goals, concentrating on my motivation whenever I am tempted, and surrounding myself by encouragement and an accommodating environment for change. And now I'm making myself socially accountable through this blog.

Here are my goals for this year (2013):

1. Exercise, stretch, meditate, and work on my writing every morning & every evening
2. Journal, stick to a budget, & write a poem daily
3. Blog daily
4. Clean & organize environment
5. Set diet (list healthy choices, count calories consumed & calories burned)
6. Learn to cook healthy alternatives
7. Sketch something daily
8. Write daily (x amount of words daily on main project)
9. Improve posture (Alexander technique)
10. Learn Spanish
11. Learn belly dancing
12. Improve my Walmart work performance
13. Start composting
14. Study anatomy
15. Learn chess
16. Study classical literature

I've already been at the first one for almost a month now. (will be at 4 weeks tomorrow, actually) without missing a day. And I've begun integrating the second, third, and fourth. I have to remind myself to start slowly, but those first four are so important that I can't feel right in putting them off very long.

Well, in case you haven't guessed yet, I'm starting this blog to catalog and encourage myself towards changing my life. And, in some part, I'm doing this with the hope that someone else out there who also wasn't born great will read this, and maybe be inspired to start achieving goals of their own. Who knows? Anything could happen, right?

That's what this is all about.

Daily stats:

1. Exercised, stretched, meditated, and wrote both in the morning and night
2. Wrote in my journal and began designing my budget for the coming 2 weeks.
3. Blogged for the day.
4. Cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, did laundry, and picked up in my room.