I'm not a very social person. I never really have been. Looking through my life, I can say why I'm not a very social person, but I can't figure out how to change that, even just a little bit. And what good is knowing the why if you don't know the what?
It's not because I'm afraid of being alone. While I may get lonely, I enjoy being alone most of the time. And reaching out to others is a click, click, and a few typed words away wherever I am, anyway. The internet made sure of that.
It's because my past has made me very mistrustful of other people. It's because my life has set me up to view groups of people, or even a few select friends, as more pain than pleasure. That is the path I've woven and this is where it has taken me.
Socially awkward and inept.
There's been little doubt in my life that I'm just not socially graceful the way others are. Other people just seem to get it. They know what to say, what to do, to get other people's attention and keep it.
But I don't.
This doesn't really worry me, for the most part. I want to be a writer, and I don't need to be extremely social to make that work, right?
Except I do. I have to do my own marketing, I have to get out and spread the word, I have to talk to people, when I really don't like to. And I have to do all of those things well.
How do you become good at something that goes against your very nature? Against every ingrown belief you have ever had? How?
If anyone out there has any suggestions for this socially inept girl to learn a slightly easier way to become at least a bit more socially graceful, I'd desperately appreciate it. I need all the help I can get.
