Life Is Like A Camera

Life changes are hard. I expected that. I even expected a set-back or two. But somehow the reality has surpassed my expectations.

It has been even harder than I thought it would be. I have seen far more set-backs than I ever could have expected. But I also have seen more success and happiness than my little heart could have asked for.

The fact that I have dedicated myself to changing into a person I can be proud of is amazing. And today I took stock of what that change has done to my life.

I haven't won any awards for suddenly becoming an incredible, popular author. I haven't become a sensational artist overnight. I haven't reached enlightenment or physical perfection. Nor have I become as healthy or organized as I dreamed. But I've become so much more than I thought possible. I've learned how to keep a schedule. I've learned to love myself. I've learned how to deal with mistakes and failures. And I've become a more confident, more mentally healthy person because of it.

I think that's a success worth more than the rewards I started this journey for.

It amazes me to think that three months ago I sat down and decided to just change my life. I decided to take what my life had always been and had accepted as immutable, and turn everything I knew upside down and inside out. Where did such bravery come from?

Two months ago today, I started this blog in an effort to keep myself accountable for my life change. I wanted to talk to people about what I was doing and have them keep me accountable for keeping to my schedule. And I wanted to inspire people to change into the person they've dreamed of becoming, too.

If life is like a camera, then this blog has been my lens. Thanks to the posts I've made here each and every day and the comments they've received, I've been able to evaluate my progress and be encouraged to keep going in the face of what I considered impossible odds. This is why I made it thus far.

And this is why I'll make it to month four. Wonder what the picture will look like then...

Anniversaries

Happy anniversary to me! Yay!

It amazes me to see how far I've already come. This day marked the 2-month anniversary of when I started this life change and the difference between now and then is simply incredible. Maybe not as far as I hope to get in the future.

But still amazing, regardless.

And my blog! My last blog, it was amazing if I remembered to update twice a week! And it died a natural death because of that. But this blog I've kept posting each day for 1 whole month!

I feel silly and a little giddy. Even though today was a terrible, grueling day at work and my body is terribly sore from yesterday's strains, I'm excited about it all. I feel as though there is no struggle I can't fight and win, no trouble I can't take on to get where I want to go.

My life has officially become what I want it to be. And I'm going to make it work, shape it all into the life of my dreams. I will succeed. I can feel it.

I'd like to take this chance to thank any and all of you out there who have been reading this and following me on this incredible journey. And a special thanks to Mark, for taking the time to encourage me along the way. Blogging each day would have been so much harder without you, Mark. At least I know someone is out there.

Thank you so much. It feels good to know I'm not alone.

Daily Stats:

 

1. Exercised, stretched, meditated, and worked on writing twice today.
2. Wrote in my journal, stayed on budget, and wrote a poem.
3. Posted on my blog.
4. Made my bed.
5. Stayed on my diet.
6. Made juice with my juicer and fixed my lunch for work.

Sick and Tired

I'm so sick and tired of feeling like crap. I'm so sick of my life and feelings being dependent on other people. I'm so sick of being the way I've been for so long.

I want to change. I want to be different.

And that's why I'm here. I might indulge in my need to encourage others to change, too. After all, I want everyone to feel as good as I'm feeling right now. But I hope everyone will always know that this blog is about one thing:

Change.

And, in the spirit of that, I'd like to announce several of my intentions. Starting next week, I'm going to make it a goal to post 1 video blog entry per week, as well as post at least one top 10 reasons and one top 10 ways to do something on my own to do list. Why? Because I'm finding out that what I'm doing is incredibly important and freeing. And I want you to find that out, too.

This is my change. I want to do it to the best of my ability, and I want to take anyone and everyone I can along for the ride.

I hope you don't get car sick.

Daily Stats:

 

1. Exercise, stretched, meditated, and worked on writing twice today.
2. Wrote in my journal, didn't stay on budget today, and wrote my poem.
3.  Posted on blog.
4. Made bed.

The Death of a Blog

I used to write another blog. It was called Kyla's Not Normal. I was initially quite excited about it. I wanted to share the writing experience with everyone, just as I wanted to share my story.

But mostly I wanted to create an author's presence on the web.

I really want to make it as an author. I have dreamed of sharing my stories with the world since I was 5 years old. Because there were things I saw and felt that other people simply didn't. I went to other worlds, and I dragged my friends there with me. They weren't upset about it for long. Very shortly, they were having as good a time as I was!

I've wanted to share those worlds and characters on a much larger scale ever since. And a blog was just another tool I used to reach that goal.

It isn't a terrible reason. But the blog was a means to an end, not an end in and of itself. Plus, when I didn't feel it was working, or that my work was going fast enough, it made it far too easy to drop the blog in favor of things like boys and partying.

This time I want it to be different. I don't want to set myself up to fail again. Each post on this blog is an accomplishment in and of itself without anyone commenting, and without my presence as an author being enlarged. Each comment is an opportunity for growth and expression. Each time it's hard to log on and update my blog? That's a challenge and an opportunity to show how much I've grown since the last one.

I blog because I believe it's good for me. I blog because I enjoy it.

And I still hope to make it as an author. But that's not what it's all about anymore. It's about becoming a better person. Becoming great.

Daily Stats:

 

1. Did not exercise or stretch today, but meditated and worked on my writing.
2. Wrote in journal, stayed on budget, and wrote a poem today.
3. Posted on my blog.
4. Didn't clean at all.